Hair Dye, Fan Girls, and Grooming
by Neon Star
Summary: Why Glorfindel wasn't there in the movie. A series of short stories.
1. Hair dye makes the mind go crazy.

I thought I might as well make a short series of stories of why poor Glorfindel wasn't in the movie! And no, I don't think of Glorfindel like this, I am just having fun at his expense.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
1. Me? Go find that stupid Aragorn and a troop of hobbits? No! AKA: Hair dye makes elves act strange...  
  
The Elf Lord of Rivendell, Glorfindel of old, came strolling into Elrond's meeting room.   
  
"You called me, Master Elrond?" Glorfindel asked.  
  
"Yes, Glorfindel. I need you to go find Estel and the hobbits," Elrond said, looking up from his work.  
  
"Don't you mean Aragorn?" Glorfindel asked.  
  
"What?" Elrond asked.  
  
"He goes by Aragorn now," Glorfindel insisted.  
  
"Of course. You had best leave now to search for them," Elrond said.  
  
"No," Glorfindel said.  
  
"No?" Elrond asked, puzzled.  
  
"No," Glorfindel confirmed.  
  
"Why?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Because, I mean, we are talking about me. I am way to important to go after that stupid Aragorn and the hobbits," Glorfindel said airily.  
  
"That blonde dye is getting to your brain, isn't it?" Elrond asked.  
  
"I don't dye my hair!" Glorfindel exclaimed.  
  
"I knew that stuff was dangerous when Legolas came skipping in waving that stuff around. I should never have let you try it but nooooo, you just had to get rid of that tiny strand of white in your hair," Elrond sighed.  
  
"My hair is not turning white! I am not that old!" Glorfindel yelled.  
  
"Never mind, I'll send Arwen to get him," Elrond said.  
  
"Thank you! Now I can go back to grooming my hair!" Glorfindel said and walked out.  
  
Elrond just sighed and shook his head, "I am going to band that evil hair dye. It must be something Sauron invented, since it drives elves out of their minds!"  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Want me to continue? 


	2. Fan girls can kill.

Glad you like it! Thanks so much for the reviews!  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
2. Legolas just showed up. Got to go save him from the fan girls. Big brother deal and all you know.  
  
A loud howl filled the valley of Rivendell just as Glorfindel entered Elrond's room.  
  
"What was that?!" Elrond exclaimed.  
  
"Fan girls," Glorfindel said, looking at his nails.  
  
"What manner of beast are they? Why are they here?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Well, see that little streak of half naked elf with long blond hair running by the window?" Glorfindel asked.  
  
"Is that Prince Legolas?!" Elrond exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, and see that mob behind him?" Glorfindel said calmly.  
  
"Yes..." Elrond said, looking out at the large mass of girls ranging from thirteen to twenty five race by.  
  
"Hey! There is Elrond, get him!" one of the fan girls yelled as she looked in the window.   
  
Window burst under the girls as they charged in.  
  
"See you later, Master Elrond!" Glorfindel yelled racing to the door.  
  
"You can't leave me here!" Elrond exclaimed as he ran after him.  
  
"Sure I can! Besides, I have a big bro contract with Legolas, I have to protect him. But if you can follow me, we might actually survive!" Glorfindel yelled back to him.  
  
Down at the stables, Arwen was waiting.  
  
"Where is he? Aragorn isn't going to be waiting for eternity. What if Aragorn got hurt?! Oh, I can't wait!" Arwen exclaimed, jumped on Asfaloth and rode away, leaving her Father, teacher, and friend to the mercy of the fan girls.... 


	3. The Purple Dress Scandle

I don't know if this is funny or not. But I decided to go ahead and post it up. Thanks for the comments!  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
3. I am depressed; go away, cross-dressing Elrond! You traumatized me with that purple dress scandal!  
  
"Lord Elrond? I need to speak to you. May I come in?" Glorfindel asked.  
  
"No, not right now!" Elrond's strained voice came through the door.  
  
"Elrond, is all well?" Glorfindel asked, concern creeping into him.  
  
"Just fine!" Elrond grunted.  
  
Truly worried now, Glorfindel pushed open the door and looked in.  
  
"Ahhh!" he yelled as he beheld a horrifying sight.  
  
"I told you not to come in here!" Elrond yelled turning to him.  
  
Glorfindel could only stare horrified. Elrond was in a very tight purple dress, which Glorfindel remembered seeing only a few days ago in Arwen's closet.  
  
"Glorfindel, are you alright?" Elrond calmed slightly and approached him.  
  
Glorfindel hit the ground in a dead faint.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
"Glorfindel? Can you hear me?" Elrond's voice came to him in the darkness.  
  
Glorfindel opened his eyes and blinked. The first thing in his sight was his Lord still dressed in that purple dress, knelling beside him.  
  
"Ahhh!" he yelled again and scrambled away.  
  
"Glorfindel, calm down!" Elrond ordered, though there was a crimson color to his cheeks.  
  
"My Lord, what has made you do this?" Glorfindel asked, eyes wide.  
  
The crimson color spread on Elrond's face, not in anger, but in clear embarrassment.  
  
"I was curious, that is all..." Elrond trailed off.  
  
"So am I, but I don't go around putting on women's dresses!" Glorfindel exclaimed.  
  
"Actually...." Elrond tailed off again, and a wicked gleam came to his eyes.  
  
"I was drunk, it was Thranduil's fault!" Glorfindel said defensively.  
  
"Of coarse, though you looked interesting with that red short dress," Elrond said, a smirk working its way across his face.  
  
"At least I passed out before I completely embarrassed myself. Besides, what is your excuse?" Glorfindel asked, getting up.  
  
"I was curious," Elrond said lamely, standing up.  
  
"Do you realize that this awful image is burned in my mind forever?" Glorfindel said, slightly still horrified,  
  
"I told you not to enter," Elrond said.  
  
"I truly wished I hadn't," Glorfindel groaned and headed out of the room.  
  
"Glorfindel, don't tell anyone," Elrond called after him.  
  
"I am too shocked to do so," Glorfindel said, and closed the door.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Two weeks later.....  
  
"Glorfindel, I need you to go look for Aragorn and the hobbits," Elrond said.  
  
"No," Glorfindel said, and glumly twirled a gold lock around a slender finger.  
  
"No?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Yes, no," Glorfindel said.  
  
"Which is it, yes or no?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Yes," Glorfindel said.  
  
"Yes?" Elrond asked.  
  
"No," Glorfindel muttered.  
  
"Yes is no?" Elrond asked.  
  
"No, I am not going to go look for them." Glorfindel said.  
  
"So you are going?" Elrond questioned.  
  
"No." Glorfindel sighed.  
  
"Why not?" Elrond asked.  
  
"I am depressed," Glorfindel replied.  
  
"Why?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Because I can't get that picture of you in that purple dress out of my head," Glorfindel groaned.  
  
"Was it that bad?" Elrond asked.  
  
Glorfindel glared at him.  
  
"Never mind, do not answer that. I will just let Arwen do it," Elrond sighed, and turned to leave.  
  
He was almost out the door when Glorfindel spoke up.  
  
"Elrond, to let you know, purple isn't your color," Glorfindel said.  
  
Elrond rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him 


End file.
